1
00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:06,006
(sighs)

2
00:00:09,140 --> 00:00:12,143
(sighs)

3
00:01:20,181 --> 00:01:23,414
♪♪♪

4
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,291
AW, IT'S JUST NOT KICKING.

5
00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:34,565
(sighs) MAYBE HE JUST NEEDS
THAT LAST PIECE OF BACON.

6
00:01:41,272 --> 00:01:43,203
OH, UH...

7
00:01:43,204 --> 00:01:46,106
I-I-I WAS...
SAVING IT FOR BABY?

8
00:01:48,509 --> 00:01:50,340
I GOTTA TELL YOU,

9
00:01:50,341 --> 00:01:53,143
THE SPORTS PAGE,
A CUP OF COFFEE...

10
00:01:53,144 --> 00:01:55,145
IS THERE A BETTER WAY

11
00:01:55,146 --> 00:01:57,648
TO GET CLOSER TO GOD
ON A SUNDAY MORNING?

12
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:02,752
WELL, I GUESS WE COULD
ACTUALLY GO TO CHURCH...

13
00:02:02,753 --> 00:02:04,894
DON'T RUIN IT, CHERYL.

14
00:02:04,895 --> 00:02:07,197
(car stereo plays loudly
in distance)

15
00:02:07,198 --> 00:02:10,200
IT'S HIM. IT'S HIM! OH,
OH, NO, JIM, PLEASE, NO.

16
00:02:10,201 --> 00:02:13,203
OH, NOT AGAIN! NO, NO, THAT CREEP
DRIVES BY OUR HOUSE ON PURPOSE!

17
00:02:13,204 --> 00:02:14,634
I SWEAR HE DOES!

18
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:17,637
IT'S HORRIBLE MUSIC, TOO.
WOULD IT KILL 'EM TO MIX IN

19
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:20,870
A LITTLE SNOOP D-O-DOUBLE "G,"
YA SEE?

20
00:02:20,871 --> 00:02:23,613
COME ON, YOU'RE GONNA
RUIN OUR SUNDAY!

21
00:02:23,614 --> 00:02:26,246
(Jim) HEY, YOU'RE GONNA
RUIN OUR SUNDAY!

22
00:02:26,247 --> 00:02:28,748
HEY, JIM,
I CAN MAKE MORE BACON.

23
00:02:28,749 --> 00:02:30,920
YEAH,
COME BACK, BUDDY!

24
00:02:30,921 --> 00:02:33,423
(Jim) HEY, THAT BETTER BE
SIGN LANGUAGE, PAL,

25
00:02:33,424 --> 00:02:36,256
OR I'LL BREAK
THAT FINGER OFF!

26
00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:37,927
ANDY,
ARE THE NEIGHBORS WATCHING?

27
00:02:37,928 --> 00:02:39,929
WELL, NO ONE'S OUTSIDE,

28
00:02:39,930 --> 00:02:42,662
BUT THEY ARE
LOOKING OUT THEIR WINDOWS.

29
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:45,164
(Jim) HEY, WHAT ARE
YOU LOOKING AT, MARILYN?

30
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,937
AND JIM SEES THEM.

31
00:02:47,938 --> 00:02:50,940
(Jim) YOU WANT A SHOW?
I'LL GIVE YOU A SHOW.

32
00:02:50,941 --> 00:02:53,204
AND THERE GOES HIS SHIRT.

33
00:02:55,276 --> 00:03:00,210
COME ON, MARILYN,
TIT FOR TAT!

34
00:03:00,211 --> 00:03:02,252
ARE HIS PANTS STILL ON?

35
00:03:02,253 --> 00:03:05,415
TECHNICALLY, YES,
BUT THEY ARE DOWN.

36
00:03:05,416 --> 00:03:07,917
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOTTEN
INTO HIM LATELY.

37
00:03:07,918 --> 00:03:12,322
I MEAN, HE'S ALWAYS GRUMPY, BUT LATELY, IT'S...
IT'S... (Jim) COME ON, MARILYN! GET YOUR CAMERA!

38
00:03:12,323 --> 00:03:14,224
YOU KNOW YOU'RE JEALOUS.

39
00:03:14,225 --> 00:03:17,298
YOU JUST WISH YOURS
WAS AS TIGHT AS THIS.

40
00:03:21,502 --> 00:03:23,533
MAYBE HE HAS I.M.S.

41
00:03:23,534 --> 00:03:25,375
WHAT'S I.M.S.?

42
00:03:25,376 --> 00:03:29,279
I WAS JUST READING ABOUT IT
IN ONE OF MY MAGAZINES. HERE.

43
00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:31,581
"DOES YOUR MAN HAVE
IRRITABLE MALE SYNDROME?"

44
00:03:31,582 --> 00:03:33,243
YEAH.

45
00:03:33,244 --> 00:03:35,815
APPARENTLY, SOME GUYS,
WHEN THEY REACH A CERTAIN AGE,

46
00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:38,948
JUST START BLOWING THEIR TOP
AT EVERYTHING. IT'S A REAL DISEASE?

47
00:03:38,949 --> 00:03:42,222
IT'S GOTTA BE REAL.
THERE'S A QUIZ.

48
00:03:43,754 --> 00:03:47,657
OH, MY GOD!
I DIDN'T MARRY A JERK.

49
00:03:47,658 --> 00:03:52,532
I MARRIED A GOOD MAN
WITH A TERRIBLE DISEASE.

50
00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:55,234
A GOOD MAN
WHO JUST LEFT A BUTT PRINT

51
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,838
ON THE WINDSHIELD
OF THE CRANNIS' NEW HYBRID.

52
00:04:03,314 --> 00:04:06,446
HEY, UH, JIM, CAN I TALK
TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING?

53
00:04:06,447 --> 00:04:08,748
YES, MY YOUNG BRIDE.
WHAT IS IT?

54
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:11,751
UM, IT... IT'S ABOUT THIS ARTICLE
THAT... THAT DANA FOUND

55
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:15,325
IN A MAGAZINE ABOUT A
CONDITION CALLED I.M.S. UH-HUH.

56
00:04:15,326 --> 00:04:17,687
IT'S IRRITABLE MALE SYNDROME.
HMM.

57
00:04:17,688 --> 00:04:20,390
I-I THINK IT MIGHT EXPLAIN
WHY YOU KEEP OVERREACTING.

58
00:04:20,391 --> 00:04:22,261
OH, HONEY,
I DON'T OVERREACT.

59
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:25,365
THE REST OF THE WORLD
UNDERREACTS.

60
00:04:25,366 --> 00:04:28,868
"CONSTRUCTS ELABORATE
JUSTIFICATIONS FOR ANGER."

61
00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:30,870
CHECK.

62
00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:32,372
OH, MY GOD!

63
00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:35,375
THIS ARTICLE IS EXACTLY WHAT
PISSES ME OFF ABOUT AMERICA.

64
00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:37,408
"GLOBALIZES HIS IRRITATIONS."
CHECK.

65
00:04:39,350 --> 00:04:41,311
JIM,
DO YOU HEAR THIS?

66
00:04:41,312 --> 00:04:44,654
THIS IS FREAKY.
IS HIS PICTURE IN THERE?

67
00:04:44,655 --> 00:04:47,317
OH, COME ON.
EVERYBODY'S GOT A SYNDROME NOW.

68
00:04:47,318 --> 00:04:50,590
I'M NOT LAZY.
I GOT CHRONIC FATIGUE SYNDROME.

69
00:04:50,591 --> 00:04:53,663
IT'S NOT HOT OUTSIDE.
IT'S GLOBAL WARMING.

70
00:04:53,664 --> 00:04:55,064
OH.

71
00:04:55,065 --> 00:04:57,327
YOU'RE NOT HYPER.
YOU GOT RESTLESS LEG SYNDROME.

72
00:04:57,328 --> 00:05:00,500
RIGHT. YOU'RE NOT FAT.
YOU'RE PREGNANT.

73
00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:02,672
HEY!

74
00:05:02,673 --> 00:05:04,674
ANDY, WHAT...
WHAT'S THE ONE AT WORK

75
00:05:04,675 --> 00:05:06,576
THAT YOU ALWAYS TRY
TO PULL ON ME?

76
00:05:06,577 --> 00:05:08,738
HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE?

77
00:05:08,739 --> 00:05:11,941
OH, YEAH. "MY BLOOD'S GOT TOO
MUCH PRESSURE. I NEED A NAP."

78
00:05:11,942 --> 00:05:14,584
J... I PASSED OUT.

79
00:05:14,585 --> 00:05:17,316
OKAY. NOW WE'RE
JUST PLAYING WORD GAMES.

80
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:20,520
"MINIMIZES OTHERS' SUFFERING,
FREQUENTLY CHANGES SUBJECT,

81
00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:22,592
DISMISSES
CONTRADICTORY OPINIONS."

82
00:05:22,593 --> 00:05:24,754
(gasps) JIM, THIS COULD
BE THE FIRST TEST

83
00:05:24,755 --> 00:05:26,826
YOU EVER GOT
A PERFECT SCORE ON.

84
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,759
THIS I.M.S.
IS A BUNCH OF CRAP!

85
00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:32,703
IT'S MADE-UP NONSENSE
LIKE P.M.S.

86
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:38,468
I'M SORRY.
IS IT THE 15th ALREADY?

87
00:05:38,469 --> 00:05:41,040
(car stereo plays loudly in
distance) LISTEN. SHH, SHH, SHH.

88
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:44,474
IT'S THE THUMPER AGAIN.
HE'S COMING AT ME AGAIN. NO!

89
00:05:44,475 --> 00:05:46,345
COME ON, ANDY. COME ON.
GIVE ME A HAND HERE.

90
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,478
I CAN STILL HEAR 'EM.
I CAN STILL HEAR 'EM.

91
00:05:48,479 --> 00:05:50,620
JIM, I CAN FEEL MY BLOOD
SUGAR PLUMMETING. SHUT UP!

92
00:05:50,621 --> 00:05:52,882
(crash)

93
00:05:52,883 --> 00:05:54,384
WHAT WAS THAT?!

94
00:05:54,385 --> 00:05:56,487
DID WE HIT THE THUMPER?

95
00:05:57,928 --> 00:06:00,530
OH, COME ON!

96
00:06:00,531 --> 00:06:03,362
HEY! WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING?!

97
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,395
WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?
YOU HIT ME!

98
00:06:05,396 --> 00:06:07,397
YOU HIT ME,
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

99
00:06:07,398 --> 00:06:09,439
YOU'RE LETTING THE THUMPER GO.
THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

100
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:12,972
YOU'RE LETTING HIM GO! OKAY, GUYS,
GUYS, COME ON. LET'S NOT SAY SOMETHING...

101
00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:16,075
EXCUSE ME, SIR. ARE YOU TOUCHING
ME? OH, DEAR, THE PRESSURE.

102
00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:18,608
YOU CAN'T LET HIM GO.
YOU... IT'S YOUR JOB TO...

103
00:06:18,609 --> 00:06:21,451
MAR... HEY, MARIL.
HEY, MARILYN.

104
00:06:21,452 --> 00:06:23,483
YOU WANT A SHOW,
MARILYN, HUH?

105
00:06:23,484 --> 00:06:25,485
I'LL GIVE YOU A SHOW.

106
00:06:25,486 --> 00:06:28,588
I'M GONNA NEED SOME BACKUP
AT, UH, 412 MAPLE STREET.

107
00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:31,160
SHOW, MARILYN?
HERE'S A SHOW, MARILYN.

108
00:06:31,161 --> 00:06:34,394
HEY, BABY!
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.

109
00:06:40,471 --> 00:06:42,972
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I GOTTA GO TO THIS...

110
00:06:42,973 --> 00:06:44,474
WHOA. WHAT? OW! OW!

111
00:06:44,475 --> 00:06:47,076
WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT? WELL, I
WANTED TO TAKE A PICTURE OF YOU

112
00:06:47,077 --> 00:06:49,739
BEFORE YOUR FIRST
ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASS.

113
00:06:49,740 --> 00:06:51,741
I'M GONNA TAKE ANOTHER ONE
IN SIX WEEKS

114
00:06:51,742 --> 00:06:54,744
AND SEE HOW DIFFERENT YOU
LOOK WITHOUT YOUR RAGE. (slaps thigh)

115
00:06:54,745 --> 00:06:57,647
CHERYL, I HAVE NO PROBLEM
CONTROLLING MY ANGER.

116
00:06:57,648 --> 00:07:00,419
YOU KNOW, I THINK THEY'LL
PROBABLY ADDRESS DENIAL

117
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,892
RIGHT OFF THE BAT.
OH.

118
00:07:02,893 --> 00:07:08,427
WELL, IF IT ISN'T
THE MAPLE STREET STRIPPER.

119
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:11,561
READY FOR THIS COURT-MANDATED
HELL YOU'VE CONDEMNED ME TO?

120
00:07:11,562 --> 00:07:13,563
ALL RIGHT, LOOK,
THAT OFFICER TESTIFIED

121
00:07:13,564 --> 00:07:15,865
THAT WE WERE
BOTH OUT OF CONTROL.

122
00:07:15,866 --> 00:07:18,538
AND BESIDES,
I ALREADY APOLOGIZED TO YOU.

123
00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:21,671
"STUFF HAPPENS. GET OVER IT"
IS NOT AN APOLOGY!

124
00:07:21,672 --> 00:07:24,514
SAVE IT FOR THE ANGER CLASS.

125
00:07:24,515 --> 00:07:28,618
SAVE IT. OH, DON'T WORRY, BUDDY.
I GOT PLENTY LEFT IN THE TANK!

126
00:07:28,619 --> 00:07:32,451
ANDY, RAGE PICTURE.
(camera shutter clicks)

127
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,525
ALL RIGHT,
GET BACK HERE! HUH?

128
00:07:37,588 --> 00:07:42,061
SO NOW WHEN MY EX-WIFE'S DOGS
START BARKING ALL NIGHT,

129
00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:44,093
I DON'T GET MAD.

130
00:07:44,094 --> 00:07:47,838
I JUST GET UP
AND TAKE 'EM FOR A WALK.

131
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:52,972
EXCUSE ME.

132
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:55,805
WHY ARE YOU STILL LIVING
WITH YOUR EX-WIFE?

133
00:07:55,806 --> 00:07:57,547
I'M NOT.

134
00:07:57,548 --> 00:08:01,982
I'M JUST WATCHING HER DOGS WHILE
SHE'S ON VACATION WITH... HIM.

135
00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:06,516
THAT'S REALLY GREAT,
HOWARD.

136
00:08:06,517 --> 00:08:09,188
THE HAPPY LITTLE MAN
INSIDE ME IS SMILING

137
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:12,622
AT THE HAPPY LITTLE MAN
INSIDE YOU.

138
00:08:12,623 --> 00:08:16,796
HE BETTER KEEP HIS HAPPY
LITTLE HANDS OFF OF ME.

139
00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:19,498
JIM, IS THERE SOMETHING
YOU WANTED TO SAY?

140
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:22,101
YEAH. YEAH.

141
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:25,535
WE GOT 41 MINUTES LEFT
TILL THE END OF THIS MEETING.

142
00:08:25,536 --> 00:08:28,207
THANK YOU
FOR YOUR FREQUENT UPDATES.

143
00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:30,209
YES.
DO YOU MIND?

144
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:33,282
SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO LEARN
SOMETHING ABOUT OURSELVES.

145
00:08:33,283 --> 00:08:35,545
THAT SOUNDED A LITTLE ANGRY,
ANDY.

146
00:08:35,546 --> 00:08:37,847
LET'S EXPLORE
THE SOURCE OF THAT ANGER.

147
00:08:37,848 --> 00:08:40,119
OH. (chuckles)
OH, I CAN'T IMAGINE

148
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:42,652
WHAT THE SOURCE
OF MY ANGER WOULD BE!

149
00:08:42,653 --> 00:08:44,824
SOUNDS LIKE
HE'S MAD AT HIS MOTHER.

150
00:08:44,825 --> 00:08:47,627
YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT MY MOTHER.

151
00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:48,599
I'M JUST SAYIN',

152
00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:52,562
A LOT OF FAT GUYS
DON'T LIKE THEIR MOTHER.

153
00:08:52,563 --> 00:08:55,635
I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT
MY MOTHER IS A WONDERFUL CAKE...

154
00:08:55,636 --> 00:08:58,067
I MEAN, WOMAN. DAMN IT!

155
00:08:58,068 --> 00:09:00,710
BOB,
YOU HAVE PROVOKED ANDY.

156
00:09:00,711 --> 00:09:02,842
WHAT DO WE SAY?

157
00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:05,014
(sighs)

158
00:09:05,015 --> 00:09:08,948
THE ANGRY LITTLE MAN IN ME
IS SORRY...

159
00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:13,624
IF HE HURT
THE FAT LITTLE MAN IN YOU.

160
00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:17,026
THANK YOU.

161
00:09:17,027 --> 00:09:19,929
NOW THAT'S AN APOLOGY.

162
00:09:19,930 --> 00:09:21,991
PARDON ME,
ARE YOU AN A.H.?

163
00:09:21,992 --> 00:09:24,694
WHAT THE HELL
DID YOU JUST CALL ME?

164
00:09:24,695 --> 00:09:26,265
AN A.H.

165
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:28,668
MODERATE YOUR TONES.

166
00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:30,800
AN A.H.
MEANS "ANGER HELPER."

167
00:09:30,801 --> 00:09:34,204
BUT, UH,
YOU ARE KINDA BEING AN A.H.

168
00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:38,077
AN A.H. IS SOMEONE
WHO ACTS AS A BUFFER

169
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:41,310
BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR I.T.s.
"I" WHAT?

170
00:09:41,311 --> 00:09:42,812
"IRRITATION TRIGGERS."

171
00:09:42,813 --> 00:09:45,755
YOU WANNA STAY AWAY
FROM THOSE.

172
00:09:45,756 --> 00:09:50,820
BUT WHAT IF I'M IN A ROOM JUST
FILLED WITH IRRITATION TRIGGERS?

173
00:09:50,821 --> 00:09:53,322
TAKE A DEEP BREATH
AND WALK AWAY.

174
00:09:53,323 --> 00:09:56,667
(exhales deeply) SEE YOU
GUYS NEXT WEEK. WHOA.

175
00:09:58,669 --> 00:10:03,302
JIM, EVERYONE HERE
KNOWS IT'S A STRUGGLE.

176
00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:07,276
I-I-I DON'T LIKE
HAVING A DISEASE.

177
00:10:07,277 --> 00:10:09,939
I... I-I DON'T LIKE
BEING TREATED DIFFERENTLY

178
00:10:09,940 --> 00:10:13,342
AND HAVING TO PARK
IN A HANDICAPPED SPOT.

179
00:10:13,343 --> 00:10:16,746
BUT THAT'S THE WORK.

180
00:10:16,747 --> 00:10:19,088
AND... AND WE DO IT
BECAUSE...

181
00:10:19,089 --> 00:10:22,823
WE WANT TO GET BETTER.
I WANT TO GET BETTER.

182
00:10:25,255 --> 00:10:26,797
HANDICAPPED SPOT?

183
00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:30,730
IRRITABLE MALE SYNDROME

184
00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:32,902
IS A RECOGNIZED
PSYCHOLOGICAL HANDICAP.

185
00:10:32,903 --> 00:10:36,836
FOR HOWARD,
PARKING LOTS ARE A BIG TRIGGER.

186
00:10:36,837 --> 00:10:39,208
YOU DON'T HAVE A PLACARD YET?

187
00:10:39,209 --> 00:10:43,042
WELL, NOT A LEGAL ONE.

188
00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:45,745
JIM, I THINK YOU'LL FIND
MANY TOOLS AT YOUR DISPOSAL

189
00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:47,817
FOR ALL OF YOUR TRIGGERS.

190
00:10:47,818 --> 00:10:50,019
PEOPLE WHO TALK
IN A MOVIE THEATER?

191
00:10:50,020 --> 00:10:53,382
SPECIAL SCREENINGS WITH USHERS
THAT THROW 'EM OUT.

192
00:10:53,383 --> 00:10:55,354
EVEN MY WIFE?

193
00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:57,356
ESPECIALLY YOUR WIFE.

194
00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:59,228
TELEMARKETERS?

195
00:10:59,229 --> 00:11:02,762
ALL YOUR CALLS ARE SCREENED
AT A SPECIAL I.M.S. CENTER.

196
00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:04,263
EVEN MY WIFE?

197
00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:06,767
ESPECIALLY YOUR WIFE.

198
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:13,372
MY NAME IS JIM,
AND I HAVE I.M.S.

199
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:16,446
(all) HELLO, JIM.

200
00:11:22,713 --> 00:11:25,154
OH, I WANNA FEEL THE BABY KICK.
MAKE IT KICK AGAIN.

201
00:11:25,155 --> 00:11:26,956
WELL, HE KICKED A
LOT YESTERDAY... UGH.

202
00:11:26,957 --> 00:11:30,389
RIGHT AFTER
I GOT A FOOT RUB.

203
00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:32,792
WELL, THEN OFF
WITH THOSE SHOES, MISSY.

204
00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:35,725
IF YOU INSIST.

205
00:11:35,726 --> 00:11:37,126
HEY.

206
00:11:37,127 --> 00:11:39,829
HEY!
AH.

207
00:11:39,830 --> 00:11:41,170
HOW WAS ANGER CLASS?

208
00:11:41,171 --> 00:11:45,074
OH, CHERYL, WHEN YOU'RE RIGHT,
YOU ARE RIGHT.

209
00:11:45,075 --> 00:11:47,076
I GOT THE I.M.S.

210
00:11:47,077 --> 00:11:48,707
(gasps)

211
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,840
AND I GOT IT BAD.

212
00:11:50,841 --> 00:11:52,311
I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!

213
00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:54,483
YOU KNOW,
I HATE SAY TOLD YOU SO, BUT...

214
00:11:54,484 --> 00:11:56,816
NO, I DON'T. I LOVE IT!
I TOLD YOU SO!

215
00:11:56,817 --> 00:12:00,020
I TOLD THE NEIGHBOR SO.
I TOLD MY MOM. I TOLD HER SO.

216
00:12:03,994 --> 00:12:06,496
AND I REALLY
WANNA HELP YOU, JIM.

217
00:12:08,398 --> 00:12:09,959
ARE YOU SURE, CHERYL?

218
00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:13,733
BECAUSE I.M.S.
DOES NOT TAKE A HOLIDAY.

219
00:12:16,907 --> 00:12:19,839
IF YOU WANNA BE MY A.H.,

220
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:22,772
YOU'VE GOT TO PROTECT ME
FROM THE I.T.s.

221
00:12:22,773 --> 00:12:25,775
ABSOLUTELY.

222
00:12:25,776 --> 00:12:27,246
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

223
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,849
HERE, READ THE LITERATURE.

224
00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:31,921
(voice breaks)
I'M EXHAUSTED.

225
00:12:31,922 --> 00:12:35,424
WE'RE GONNA GET THROUGH THIS,
MISTER.

226
00:12:35,425 --> 00:12:37,426
YOU HEAR ME?

227
00:12:37,427 --> 00:12:40,860
I LOVE YOU.

228
00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:42,761
(telephone ringing)

229
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,464
THE PHONE?

230
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:47,466
ALL THAT RINGING,
RINGING, IT JUST...

231
00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:50,469
IT JUST RATTLES THE VERY CORE
OF MY SERENITY. CHERYL...

232
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:52,441
OH, I'LL GET IT.

233
00:12:52,442 --> 00:12:56,305
OH, THAT'S OKAY, BABY.
I'LL GET IT. I'LL GET IT. OHH.

234
00:12:56,306 --> 00:13:00,449
HELLO? OH, GAIL, HI.
HOW ARE YOU?

235
00:13:00,450 --> 00:13:02,511
SO MANY WORDS,
SO MUCH TALKING.

236
00:13:02,512 --> 00:13:08,217
OH. I'M SORRY. SHH.
HEY, HEY, DID YOU GET MY E-MAIL?

237
00:13:08,218 --> 00:13:11,191
YES. IT'S CALLED I.M.S.
THAT'S WHY HE'S LIKE THAT!

238
00:13:16,426 --> 00:13:18,898
WHAT?

239
00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:22,371
COME ON. YOU DON'T BELIEVE
THIS I.M.S. STUFF.

240
00:13:22,372 --> 00:13:25,876
IT'S NOT WHAT IT SAYS
ON MY CARD.

241
00:13:27,878 --> 00:13:32,342
"I HAVE I.M.S.
PLEASE LET ME HAVE MY WAY."

242
00:13:35,045 --> 00:13:36,385
SERIOUSLY?

243
00:13:36,386 --> 00:13:38,888
YEAH. THEY GAVE ME THIS
AT THE MEETING.

244
00:13:38,889 --> 00:13:41,090
I AM OFFICIALLY A VICTIM.

245
00:13:41,091 --> 00:13:43,893
OH, COME ON.
YOU'RE JUST WORKING CHERYL,

246
00:13:43,894 --> 00:13:46,395
AND UNTIL I HATCH THIS EGG,
THAT'S MY RACKET.

247
00:13:46,396 --> 00:13:48,998
WAS YOUR RACKET, DANA.

248
00:13:48,999 --> 00:13:52,902
I GOT I.M.S.,
SO SHUT YOUR Y-A-P.

249
00:13:52,903 --> 00:13:55,905
CHERYL, HE IS JUST TELLING YOU
HE HAS I.M.S.

250
00:13:55,906 --> 00:13:58,167
BECAUSE THAT'S
WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR.

251
00:13:58,168 --> 00:14:00,169
HE'S FAKING. HE'S FAKING. IRRITATION
TRIGGER. IRRITATION TRIGGER.

252
00:14:00,170 --> 00:14:03,413
IRRITATION TRIGGER!

253
00:14:06,276 --> 00:14:09,548
DANA,
MAYBE YOU SHOULD LEAVE.

254
00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:11,881
WHAT?!
YOU'RE BUYING THIS?!

255
00:14:11,882 --> 00:14:16,555
HONEY, SHE'S HURTING
THE SAD LITTLE MAN INSIDE ME.

256
00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:18,457
I'M SORRY, BABY.

257
00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:21,230
DANA, I'M SORRY, BUT JIM
HAS A MEDICAL CONDITION.

258
00:14:21,231 --> 00:14:22,932
NO, HE DOESN'T.

259
00:14:22,933 --> 00:14:26,866
YES, I DO. IT SAYS IT
RIGHT HERE ON MY TOTE BAG.

260
00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:29,398
(scoffs)

261
00:14:29,399 --> 00:14:30,869
THE BABY'S KICKING.

262
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,943
AW. STEP BACK, SWEETIE.

263
00:14:36,176 --> 00:14:38,577
THANK YOU, CHERYL.
OH.

264
00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:41,080
YOU KNOW WHAT THE GUYS
SAID AT THE MEETING?

265
00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:45,185
WHAT? THEY SAID THAT
SHOWER SEX SOMETIMES HELPS.

266
00:14:49,459 --> 00:14:51,991
AND, UH, AFTER THEY RECEIVED
MY DOCTOR'S NOTE,

267
00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:53,892
I GOT A SPECIAL STICKER
THAT, LETS ME, UH,

268
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,895
DRIVE IN THE CAR POOL LANE,
EVEN WHEN I'M BY MYSELF.

269
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,498
(inhales deeply)
THAT, UH...

270
00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:01,571
SHOULD HELP WITH MY ROAD RAGE.

271
00:15:05,375 --> 00:15:09,979
UH... WOW.
GREAT GROWTH THERE, BOB.

272
00:15:09,980 --> 00:15:13,442
HEY, COULD I GET
THE NAME OF THAT DOCTOR?

273
00:15:13,443 --> 00:15:16,085
TEACHING MOMENT.

274
00:15:16,086 --> 00:15:19,248
"ANGER SPURNED
EQUALS LESSON LEARNED."

275
00:15:19,249 --> 00:15:20,950
THAT'S MINE.

276
00:15:20,951 --> 00:15:24,353
NO, NO, NO, ACTUALLY, I SAID
THAT LAST WEEK. THAT'S MINE!

277
00:15:24,354 --> 00:15:27,096
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
HOWARD SAID IT.

278
00:15:27,097 --> 00:15:29,128
WE TALKED ABOUT
PUTTING IT ON COFFEE MUGS.

279
00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:31,160
AND LITTLE PILLOWS
AND... AND TINY, LITTLE SWEATERS...

280
00:15:31,161 --> 00:15:34,563
NOW LET'S WELCOME
A NEW MEMBER TO OUR GROUP.

281
00:15:34,564 --> 00:15:37,236
PLEASE WELCOME DAVID.

282
00:15:37,237 --> 00:15:39,638
(all) HELLO, DAVID.

283
00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:42,071
WHAT WAS IT, DAVID,
THAT BROUGHT YOU HERE?

284
00:15:42,072 --> 00:15:44,013
PAINT YOUR JOURNEY FOR US.

285
00:15:44,014 --> 00:15:49,118
THE JUDGE KINDA MADE ME
'CAUSE THE COPS PULLED ME OVER

286
00:15:49,119 --> 00:15:53,023
FOR PLAYING MY CAR STEREO
TOO LOUD.

287
00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:04,593
WHAT STREET WERE YOU ON?

288
00:16:04,594 --> 00:16:07,097
I THINK IT WAS MAPLE.

289
00:16:11,101 --> 00:16:12,341
YOU'RE THE THUMPER!

290
00:16:12,342 --> 00:16:15,104
AND YOU'RE THAT NUT JOB WHO
ALWAYS TAKES HIS SHIRT OFF!

291
00:16:15,105 --> 00:16:17,306
(screams)
COME ON!

292
00:16:17,307 --> 00:16:18,577
COME ON.

293
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:20,149
SAFETY STATIONS!

294
00:16:20,150 --> 00:16:24,214
(grunting)

295
00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:34,194
YEAH, I'M ACTUALLY FINE.

296
00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:40,129
I KNOW.
YOU'RE PROTECTING ME.

297
00:16:40,130 --> 00:16:42,071
(grunts) COME ON,
FLIP ME A FINGER NOW,

298
00:16:42,072 --> 00:16:45,134
SEE WHERE
THAT FINGER ENDS UP!

299
00:16:45,135 --> 00:16:49,608
TEACHING MOMENT. RIGHT NOW JIM IS
A VICTIM OF HIS OWN... I AM NOT A VICTIM!

300
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:52,381
I'M GONNA TAKE YOUR CAR
AND DEVEIN IT LIKE A SHRIMP!

301
00:16:52,382 --> 00:16:55,144
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS!

302
00:16:55,145 --> 00:16:57,286
THE VEIN THAT RUNS DOWN
THE BACK OF THE SHRIMP.

303
00:16:57,287 --> 00:17:01,620
HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW THAT? IT'S THE
SPEAKER WIRE IN THE CAR I'M GONNA TAKE...

304
00:17:01,621 --> 00:17:04,153
I DON'T HAVE
TO EXPLAIN MYSELF!

305
00:17:04,154 --> 00:17:07,696
YEAH, WELL, WHY DON'T YOU
EXPLAIN IT TO ME OUTSIDE!

306
00:17:07,697 --> 00:17:10,259
YOU GUYS ARE REALLY CHALLENGING
MY SERENITY.

307
00:17:10,260 --> 00:17:12,301
"MY SERENITY! MY SERENITY!"

308
00:17:12,302 --> 00:17:15,634
I'M SICK
OF YOUR FRIGGIN' SERENITY!

309
00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:19,538
YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE I'VE MADE
MORE PROGRESS THAN YOU! I'LL GET HIM!

310
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,370
TEACHING MOMENT!
YOU STOLE MY RHYME!

311
00:17:21,371 --> 00:17:25,214
(whimpers) I'M NOT REALLY
THAT ANGRY RIGHT NOW!

312
00:17:25,215 --> 00:17:28,077
I JUST WANT TO FIT IN!

313
00:17:28,078 --> 00:17:31,121
(choir singing opera music)

314
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:59,178
WOW. YOU KNOW, I NEVER THOUGHT

315
00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:02,112
I'D GET TO KNOW SO MANY
OF OUR LOCAL POLICEMEN BY NAME.

316
00:18:04,414 --> 00:18:08,158
SO YOU HAD AN I.M.S. EPISODE.

317
00:18:09,659 --> 00:18:12,661
THE IMPORTANT THING NOW IS
THAT WE CREATE A SAFETY SPHERE

318
00:18:12,662 --> 00:18:16,695
AND ENJOY
SOME CALMING BREATHS.

319
00:18:16,696 --> 00:18:18,167
(exhales deeply)

320
00:18:18,168 --> 00:18:21,200
CHERYL, I DON'T HAVE I.M.S.

321
00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:23,172
YEAH. YEAH, YOU DO.

322
00:18:23,173 --> 00:18:26,175
IT HAPPENS TO MEN WHEN
THEY REACH A CERTAIN AGE.

323
00:18:26,176 --> 00:18:29,178
WELL,
THEN THAT AGE WAS 6...

324
00:18:29,179 --> 00:18:31,680
'CAUSE, HONEY, I'VE BEEN
LIKE THIS MY WHOLE LIFE.

325
00:18:31,681 --> 00:18:34,513
JIM, YOU HAVE TO HAVE IT.

326
00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:36,845
I-I TOLD EVERYBODY
YOU HAVE IT.

327
00:18:36,846 --> 00:18:38,217
CHERYL, CHERYL,

328
00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:40,349
I-I KNOW YOU REALLY WOULD
LIKE ME TO HAVE IT,

329
00:18:40,350 --> 00:18:42,351
THAT YOU NEED ME
TO HAVE IT,

330
00:18:42,352 --> 00:18:46,155
BECAUSE THEN IT WOULD EXPLAIN
ALL THE WEIRD THINGS THAT I DO.

331
00:18:46,156 --> 00:18:47,426
YOU KNOW WHAT?

332
00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:51,330
I WISH I HAD IT, BECAUSE THEN
I COULD DO WHATEVER I WANTED.

333
00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:54,303
BUT I DON'T HAVE I.M.S.

334
00:18:54,304 --> 00:18:58,237
I HAVE J.I.M.

335
00:18:58,238 --> 00:19:01,210
YOU JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT
THE FACT... (chuckles)

336
00:19:01,211 --> 00:19:03,542
YOU MARRIED A JERK.

337
00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:06,246
I KNOW.

338
00:19:07,877 --> 00:19:10,279
YOU DO?
YES.

339
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:13,222
OKAY. WELL,
THEN WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

340
00:19:13,223 --> 00:19:16,154
(sighs) JIM,

341
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,156
THE PROBLEM
IS THAT... THAT

342
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,829
LATELY YOU'VE BEEN,
LIKE, SUPER-JERK.

343
00:19:20,830 --> 00:19:22,561
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
"SUPER-JERK"?

344
00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:25,264
EVERY WEEKEND, YOU'RE OUT THERE
ON THE FRONT LAWN,

345
00:19:25,265 --> 00:19:28,197
YELLING AT OUR NEIGHBOR,
RIPPING OFF YOUR SHIRT.

346
00:19:28,198 --> 00:19:30,469
I MEAN, IT... IT'S LIKE
IT'S FUN FOR YOU.

347
00:19:30,470 --> 00:19:33,742
WELL,
IT IS KINDA FUN.

348
00:19:33,743 --> 00:19:35,344
UGH. COME ON!

349
00:19:35,345 --> 00:19:39,348
IT IS! IT'S FUN...
RUNNING OUTSIDE, MY SHIRT OFF...

350
00:19:39,349 --> 00:19:42,211
YELLING, SCREAMING...
IT IS KINDA FUN.

351
00:19:42,212 --> 00:19:45,254
WELL,
THAT'S LIKE A FOOTBALL GAME.

352
00:19:45,255 --> 00:19:47,256
YEAH.

353
00:19:47,257 --> 00:19:49,318
YEAH, IT IS.

354
00:19:49,319 --> 00:19:53,292
OKAY.
WELL, HERE'S AN IDEA.

355
00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:56,525
HOW ABOUT INSTEAD
OF MOONING MARILYN CRANNIS,

356
00:19:56,526 --> 00:19:58,967
YOU GO TO A FOOTBALL GAME?
OR, YOU KNOW,

357
00:19:58,968 --> 00:20:01,700
GO OUT WITH THE GUYS
OR PLAY WITH THE BAND?

358
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:04,603
YOU KNOW, WHY DON'T YOU
DO THAT STUFF ANYMORE?

359
00:20:04,604 --> 00:20:09,578
I DON'T KNOW. I-I, UH...

360
00:20:09,579 --> 00:20:11,610
WELL...

361
00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:14,743
I THINK, UH,
I LIKE IT HERE.

362
00:20:14,744 --> 00:20:16,845
I-I LIKE THIS FAMILY.

363
00:20:16,846 --> 00:20:20,589
I LIKE YOU.

364
00:20:20,590 --> 00:20:23,252
I LIKE TWO OF THE KIDS.

365
00:20:23,253 --> 00:20:26,256
(laughing)

366
00:20:28,358 --> 00:20:33,832
I GUESS WHEN PUSH
COMES TO SHOVE, I, UH...

367
00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:35,704
I LOVE HANGING OUT WITH YOU.

368
00:20:35,705 --> 00:20:38,707
OH, THAT IS SO SWEET.

369
00:20:38,708 --> 00:20:40,909
GO TO A GAME.

370
00:20:40,910 --> 00:20:43,412
REALLY?

371
00:20:43,413 --> 00:20:45,344
I WANT YOU
TO BLOW OFF STEAM.

372
00:20:45,345 --> 00:20:48,617
I WANT YOU TO STOP GETTING
NAKED IN THE FRONT YARD.

373
00:20:48,618 --> 00:20:53,552
ALL RIGHT. DEAL.

374
00:20:53,553 --> 00:20:54,883
I WON'T GET NAKED.

375
00:20:54,884 --> 00:20:57,486
I'LL WEAR BOXER SHORTS.

376
00:20:57,487 --> 00:21:00,429
ALL RIGHT, BUT NOT THE ONES THAT
SAY "OVER A BILLION SERVED."

377
00:21:00,430 --> 00:21:02,291
OH.

378
00:21:02,292 --> 00:21:04,764
YOU DRIVE A HARD BARGAIN.

379
00:21:07,337 --> 00:21:09,698
YOU TOLD THE COPS
I STARTED THE FIGHT!

380
00:21:09,699 --> 00:21:13,403
(chorus singing opera music)